I am really looking forward to this series on Biblical Hermeneutics and I was reminded of the following that was shared with me years ago when I was in seminary (I can't remember from whom). It's a little (maybe a lot) on the nerdy side but if you like "seminary humor" you might enjoy this explanation of Hermeneutics in Everyday Life:
Suppose you're traveling to work, and you see a stop sign. What do you do? That depends on how you exegete the stop sign.
A Postmodernist deconstructs the sign (knocks it over with
his car), ending forever the tyranny of the north-south traffic over the
east-west traffic.
Similarly, a Marxist sees a stop sign as an instrument of
class conflict. He concludes that the
bourgeoisie use the north-south road and obstruct the progress of the workers
on the east-west road.
A serious and educated Catholic believes that he cannot
understand the stop sign apart from its interpretive community and their
tradition. Observing that the
interpretive community doesn't take it too seriously, he doesn't feel obligated
to take it too seriously either.
An average Catholic (or Orthodox or Coptic or Anglican or
Methodist or Presbyterian or whatever) doesn't bother to read the sign, but
he'll stop if the car in front of him does.
A Fundamentalist, taking the text very literally, stops at
the stop sign and waits for it to tell him to go.
A Preacher might look up "STOP" in his lexicons of
English and discover that it can mean: something which prevents motion, such as a plug for a drain,
or a block of wood that prevents a door from closing; or a location where a
train or bus lets off passengers. The main point of his sermon the following
Sunday on this text is . . . when you see a stop sign, it is a place where
traffic is naturally clogged, so it is a good place to let off passengers from
your car.
An Orthodox Jew does one of two things: A. takes another
route to work that doesn't have a stop sign so that he doesn't run the risk of
disobeying the Law; or B. stops at the stop sign, says "Blessed art Thou,
O Lord our God, King of the universe, Who hast given us Thy commandment to
stop," waits three seconds, according to his watch, and then proceeds.
Incidentally, the Talmud has the following comments on this
passage:
R(abbi) Meir says, "He who does not stop shall not live
long." R. Hillel says, "Cursed
is he who does not count to three before proceeding." R. Simon ben Judah says, "Why
three? Because the Holy One, blessed be
He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings." R. ben Isaac says, "Because of the three
patriarchs." R. Yehuda says,
"Why bless the Lord at a stop sign?
Because it says, 'Be still, and know that I am God." R. Hezekiel says, "When Jephthah
returned from defeating the Ammonites, the Holy One, blessed be He, knew that a
donkey would run out of the house and overtake his daughter; but Jephthah did
not stop at the stop sign, and the donkey did not have time to come out. For this reason, he saw his daughter first
and lost her. Thus he was judged for his
transgression at the stop sign." R.
Gamaliel says, "R. Hillel, when he was a baby, never spoke a word, though
his parents tried to teach him by speaking and showing him the words on a
scroll. One day his father was driving
through town and did not stop at the sign.
Young Hillel called out, 'Stop, father!'
In this way, he began reading and speaking at the same time. Thus it is written: 'Out of the mouths of
babes.'" R. ben Jacob says,
"Where did the stop sign come from?
Out of the sky, for it is written: 'Forever, O Lord, Your word is fixed
in the heavens.'" R. ben Nathan
says, "When were stop signs created?
On the fourth day, for it is written: 'Let them serve as
signs.'" R. Yeshuah says . . .
A Pharisee does the same thing as an orthodox Jew, except
that he waits 10 seconds instead of three.
He also replaces his brake lights with 1000-watt searchlights and
connects his horn so that it is activated whenever he touches the brake pedal.
A Scholar from the Jesus Seminar concludes that the passage
"STOP" undoubtedly was never uttered by Jesus himself, but belongs
entirely to stage III of the gospel tradition, when the church was first
confronted by traffic in its parking lot.
An NT Scholar notices that there is no stop sign on Mark
Street, but there is one on Matthew and Luke Streets. He concludes that the ones on Luke and
Matthew Streets are both copied from a sign on a completely hypothetical street
called "Q." There is an
excellent 300-page discussion of speculations on the origin of these stop signs
and the differences between the stop signs on Matthew and Luke Streets in the
scholar's commentary on the passage.
There is an unfortunate omission in the commentary, however. The author apparently forgot to explain what
the text means.
An OT Scholar points out that there are a number of stylistic
differences between the first and second half of the passage
"STOP." For example,
"ST" contains no enclosed areas and 5 line endings, whereas,
"OP" contains two enclosed areas and only one line termination. He concludes that the author for the second
part is different from the author for the first part and probably lived
hundreds of years later. Later scholars
determine that the second half is itself actually written by two separate
authors because of similar stylistic differences between the "O" and
the "P."
Another prominent OT Scholar notes in his commentary that
the stop sign would fit better into the context three streets back. (Unfortunately, he neglected to explain why
in his commentary.) Clearly, it was
moved to its present location by a later redactor. He thus exegetes the intersection as though
the stop sign were not there.
Because of the difficulties in interpretation, another OT Scholar amends the text, changing "T" to "H." "SHOP" is much easier to understand
in context than "STOP" because of the multiplicity of stores in the
area. The textual corruption probably
occurred because "SHOP" is so similar to "STOP" on the sign
several streets back that it is a natural mistake for a scribe to make. Thus the sign should be interpreted to
announce the existence of a shopping area.
I PROMISE Dr. Matthew's will make this all much clearer for us beginning tomorrow evening at 6:30in the Sanctuary.
I PROMISE Dr. Matthew's will make this all much clearer for us beginning tomorrow evening at 6:30in the Sanctuary.
